Dear Mr Claus,
December 2012 was the last Christmas in which I sent you a wish list and now here we are at the tail-end of 2015 already and I’ve come to accept your reply got lost in the Royal Mail delivery system.
After four years working in retail, I understand simple misunderstandings like this can happen and as such, I hold no grudge against you.
At the age of 24, there’s not so much I wish for (desire) at Christmas anymore so I admit that this year, this list will be pretty short. Ish.
In 2012 I had just moved into my new flat and I’m now pleased to say it’s now almost *exactly* how I want it. There’s just one problem left; the doors. Therefore, if you could be kind enough to leave six brand-new polished household doors in my stocking to replace the disgusting 20 year old, chocolate brown ones I currently have, I would be delighted.
Now, I know it could be quite difficult to find a stocking big enough so I won’t be *too* disappointed if this is beyond even your capabilities.
Leaving them in the communal area of the flat will thus suffice, as long as they’re finished off with a red bow.
Secondly, everyone knows Christmas is all about giving and there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing the younger faces in the family lighting up with each present opened. That’s why I would be grateful if you left a month’s mortgage payment in my stocking too. This is a more slightly long-term present as it would be come in handy come January 2016 meaning I won’t have to intake quite as much air when I open the credit card statement.
The next item I would like to bring to your attention is something I think will have appeared in a number of the letter’s you have already received and opened from adults across Warwickshire.
Please, please, please make 2016 Coventry City Football Club’s year. I understand you’re a Manchester United supporter which obviously explains the reasoning behind why you wear a red uniform (and why they’re one of the most successful clubs in the world,) and throwing success to a team which wears Sky Blue may initially hurt, but at least I’m not one of *those* City supporters, right?
Finally, may Christmas be filled with love and joy like the 23 previous I’ve enjoyed.
(PS – Actually, an Audi wouldn’t hurt either.)
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You’re not asking for much, then?!
There were many things which had to be cut from the list for it to remain *this* reasonable!