Five things quarantine has taught me

Photo Illustration: Trent Joaquin; Source: Getty Images

The Covid-19 (coronavirus) quarantine has now been in place for over a month and in this time almost everything that we know has changed. Pubs, restaurants, schools have all closed and the streets are practically empty. Everyone is being encouraged to work from home where possible unless they’re a key worker as defined by the government (which I am) but still there’s a few ‘life lessons’ I’ve picked up during extra time spent at home;

I’m hilariously bad at Mario Kart.
[DISCLAIMER: I never claimed to be that good.]
There’s being bad at Mario Kart, and then there’s being bad at Mario Kart. After losing to my friend Tom sixteen times in a row after so confidently challenging him (to a series of online play races in order to observe social distancing) I had to call it quits and admit that I won’t “get you next time!”

I like pasta. A lot.
It’s a well known fact that Rich won’t can’t cook. A quick five second internet search has shown that the majority of the population have used this quarantine to hone their skills, or even learn new ones with cooking being one of these. Not for me! Instead I’ve allowed my trusted friend the microwave to continue doing most of the hard work for me, which has resulted in a rotation of different pasta ready meals almost every evening, with The Lockdown Spaghetti Taste Test even being coined on my Instagram story every Friday night in a bid to convince myself that I have a legitimate reason to eat so much pasta.

Mom will NEVER learn to FaceTime properly.
Social distancing means we can’t visit the friends and family who don’t live in the same household as us. However, there are still many different ways we can communicate and see each other, such as video calling. Despite my repeated pleas of lowing the camera, or holding the phone further away for her face, I’ve now accepted that rather than having a daily FaceTime with Mom, I’ll be having a daily FaceTime with her hair and the ceiling instead.

My Coke problem is far worse than first reported.
Again, just like in the original post, I need to clear this up; it’s not that sort of Coke problem! Being stuck at home more means the contents of my recycling bin have caught my eye in a little more detail. The bottles have begun piling up and I now have a visual guide to just how much of the stuff I’m drinking per day. The conclusion? I drink far too much of the stuff.

No matter how much free time I have on my hands, I will still find ways to put off doing the housework.
Washing up
Put washing on
Hang washing to dry
Sweep floor
Hoover
Finally get round to painting three walls in living room
Wallpaper fourth living room wall
Go for a run (alone)
Play Xbox
Play Mario Kart
Eat
Sleep
Scroll endlessly through phone
Pretend you’re going to do the chores when you know you’re not
Try to teach Mom how to FaceTime for the 1000th time

* strikethrough denotes completed tasks

You will have noticed that painting is crossed off, whereas wallpapering isn’t. If you thought I was bad at Mario Kart then I implore you to see the results of me painting three of the four walls of my living room. As soon as I started I knew I shouldn’t have, and the results prove that beyond all doubt!

In all seriousness though I hope everyone is staying safe during this incredibly uncertain period of time. The real lesson from this quarantine is that following the guidelines is essential to keeping as many people as safe as possible. Yes, it’s an inconvenience but it won’t last forever. Then, and only then, we might stop taking the most important things for granted.

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